Mike's Rubbish List

• Trains to London. They're the most expensive in Europe and the most unpleasant. I am regularly delayed, sometimes severely. Some say it's privatisation; I wonder if perhaps the rail lines are showing their age; but for whatever reason, it's probably the worst rail service in Europe.
• High Street Shopping. It's always the same shops, everywhere, and they only carry the mainstream big-sellers. They're staffed by underpaid, passionless drones. Shopping is no fun.
• Most Beer. In the country that created ales, porters, and stouts, how can so many people consume - nay, demand - so much watery, fizzy lager?
• BBC Radio. I know there are at least four national stations and many local stations, but I can't tell one from the other because the programming is so random. You can never tell what will come next. The Smiths, followed by Kylie Minogue, then Barry Manilow, then The Who. Each station is completely schizophrenic.
• Coffee. Lousy. Even the cod-Italian chains like Cafe Nero and Costa can't make a cup as interesting as boring old Starbucks.