Brain Droppings
(With all apologies to George Carlin)
Today I got wise and picked up a little notepad so that I can start recording all the thoughts that I want to share. So, like the angels Cassiel and Damiel in Wings of Desire, I can now spend my days walking the cities and noting what I see on a little paper pad to be shared at the end of the day. Except I'm using a laptop and wifi. I'm overdue, so I've got lots of silly little observations to share, in no particular order.
When I first saw a lad wearing a T-shirt saying "fcuk" I thought he was being cheeky. Turns out that's the actual name of a clothing store. I think it stands for "French Connection UK".
American food is represented by the occasional Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Burger King, and Subway, but for some reason seeing TGIFridays restaurants really cheeses me off.
My next suit will probably have stripes. They're pretty common here. And men's collars are almost universally spread. Jeans here are darker and have that burned/stained look in certain areas, as if you'd been wearing them for years. Even stores like Gap and Levi's sell them. Are they the norm in the States yet? Have I not been paying attention? Forgive me; I'm an old man.
As far as our B & B's have gone, if there's a bath, it will only have half a shower enclosure. And the shower head will be detatchable, and the plumbing will be exposed. And the presence and duration of hot water will be completely unpredictable. And whatever I learn will be useless for the next one I encounter. And so far, all taps - I mean, each and every single one - has a separate hot and cold spout. Never combined.
And all of our B & B's have given us a skeleton key for our room. Have you ever actually used one? They're so solid. And big.
This isn't funny in the least, but it cracks me up a bit to hear people of Asian heritage talking in a Scottish accent. It just seems such an odd juxtaposition to me.
Remember Willy Wonka and his Everlasting Gobstopper? I guess "gob" is a Scottish term for mouth. As in "shut yer gob".
I'd first noticed this in my UK music magazines, but newspapers do it too: captions never end in a period. Even if there are multiple sentences
Although people drive on the left, they walk on the right.
With traffic signals, the lights overlap. It's green, then yellow and red, then red. Likewise, from red, you get a brief red and yellow before the green; that's when you start revving.
I've been mostly too scared to jaywalk. At a crossing, I'm the only one waiting for the walk signal because I don't want to get picked off when I'm looking for traffic in the wrong direction.
Travel tip: If you're walking any serious amount, don't wear boxer shorts. Loose clothing, pendulous objects. Do the physics.
Travel tip: Pee and poo where you can. If you're having food or drink, use the loo before you leave.
Today I got wise and picked up a little notepad so that I can start recording all the thoughts that I want to share. So, like the angels Cassiel and Damiel in Wings of Desire, I can now spend my days walking the cities and noting what I see on a little paper pad to be shared at the end of the day. Except I'm using a laptop and wifi. I'm overdue, so I've got lots of silly little observations to share, in no particular order.
When I first saw a lad wearing a T-shirt saying "fcuk" I thought he was being cheeky. Turns out that's the actual name of a clothing store. I think it stands for "French Connection UK".
American food is represented by the occasional Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Burger King, and Subway, but for some reason seeing TGIFridays restaurants really cheeses me off.
My next suit will probably have stripes. They're pretty common here. And men's collars are almost universally spread. Jeans here are darker and have that burned/stained look in certain areas, as if you'd been wearing them for years. Even stores like Gap and Levi's sell them. Are they the norm in the States yet? Have I not been paying attention? Forgive me; I'm an old man.
As far as our B & B's have gone, if there's a bath, it will only have half a shower enclosure. And the shower head will be detatchable, and the plumbing will be exposed. And the presence and duration of hot water will be completely unpredictable. And whatever I learn will be useless for the next one I encounter. And so far, all taps - I mean, each and every single one - has a separate hot and cold spout. Never combined.
And all of our B & B's have given us a skeleton key for our room. Have you ever actually used one? They're so solid. And big.
This isn't funny in the least, but it cracks me up a bit to hear people of Asian heritage talking in a Scottish accent. It just seems such an odd juxtaposition to me.
Remember Willy Wonka and his Everlasting Gobstopper? I guess "gob" is a Scottish term for mouth. As in "shut yer gob".
I'd first noticed this in my UK music magazines, but newspapers do it too: captions never end in a period. Even if there are multiple sentences
Although people drive on the left, they walk on the right.
With traffic signals, the lights overlap. It's green, then yellow and red, then red. Likewise, from red, you get a brief red and yellow before the green; that's when you start revving.
I've been mostly too scared to jaywalk. At a crossing, I'm the only one waiting for the walk signal because I don't want to get picked off when I'm looking for traffic in the wrong direction.
Travel tip: If you're walking any serious amount, don't wear boxer shorts. Loose clothing, pendulous objects. Do the physics.
Travel tip: Pee and poo where you can. If you're having food or drink, use the loo before you leave.
posted by Michael Nelson at 9:56 am
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